My friend Melanie posted on Facebook on June 19, 2013:
I keep feeling a nudge to try a new reiki approach, focused on gratitude. I’d love to do a little experiment with someone this evening. If you’re game, post and tell me something you’d like to improve your feelings around. I don’t really need any specifics; just a word or phrase will do. Then I’ll do some reiki around that, and you can let me know if you sense any improvement.
Stuck In The Box by ~missEyez on DeviantArt.com
You may have noticed that I have been having a bit of an issue with being stuck. I have been feeling abandoned, and that there is nobody Out There who can help me (so how can I be abandoned?). I’ve been yearning for action, while believing that all is emerging in its perfect time (kairos). I’ve been aiming for 100% acceptance of my condition, while desiring a magic-pill cure.
I wanted to accept Melanie’s offer, but had just read Elizabeth Cunningham’s amazing poem, What’s in My Heart
to my husband. I was determined to live what I was feeling without trying to change it. I had told Michael that I no longer felt like I needed to shift things, or to be grateful for my unexplainably unhappy countenance, only moments ago. I meant it when I said it. But, of course, I wanted to be happy and flowing in the river of life, not stuck in a bottle. So I replied to Melanie’s query.
Being stuck. (9/10)
Soon after, Melanie sent me a message.
I just sent some reiki your way, and wanted to share a bit about the experience with you.
Titania’s Awakening by ~NeniaLove on Deviant Art
I focused on the aspect of being stuck, and what I saw was you standing in an invisible energetic box, spinning in circles and bumping into the sides of these boundaries. It was a very frenzied feeling, quick moving, lots of twisting and turning but never really moving from that one spot. Then I asked what there was to be thankful for about this energetic box, and I saw the sides all let go of their rigidity and take on the shape of your energy body. At first it felt like slow moving liquid surrounding you, almost like an amniotic sack. It felt a little overwhelming initially, but as I kept focusing on the appreciation for the energetic walls, they became more in sync with your body. I got the message that the boundary is a part of you, and saw it morphing into step with you… hard to describe accurately with words, but it was like a melding of sorts… a bringing together rather than resisting against.
Then I saw you full on frolicking! Jumping river rocks, doing cartwheels, taking in the view on top of a mountain, ducking under tree branches… you were moving fast, and with joy! You were supported by your energetic boundaries, allowing you to move with freedom in a very child-like way.
So to sum up, the overall message I got was that being stuck is a way to safely grow into your more authentic self, and that integrating the energetic boundaries is something you can intend (i.e. no doing necessary here!) that will allow you to still have that protection from the boundaries while still moving at whatever pace, and in whatever way, suits you. Appreciate the being stuck feeling with the knowing that it is supporting your growth, that all is happening just as it should, and that you are fully in control. That may seem/sound like a contradiction in some ways, but I think if you can feel into where it isn’t a contradiction, then that’s where the feeling of appreciation and acceptance will really come alive.
I hope that’s helpful! Would love to hear feedback if you have any to share.
I was blown away by Melanie’s message. I respond thus:
For 13 days, my heart has been RACING. I feel safe, but the feeling is intense. The frenzied feeling you saw lives in my heart.
I felt incredible RELIEF upon reading that my box is self-made. It (I) might be distorted, but I am me. Even bigger relief came at the words “morphing into step with you.” I have been sensing that acceptance is The Key.
The joyful images give me hope. They are in sync with what I love. (Though the cartwheels threw me. It’s been decades since I’ve been able to do one. Maybe again soon?)
I am not friendly with gratitude and appreciation at the moment (almost didn’t reply do to the word gratitude in the OP), but am very into acceptance. Integrating was the word that came to me with the Chinese New Year. “No doing necessary” speaks to me in a big way.
My intention: I protect myself and choose to move safely and joyfully into and in this new energy.
Words are not enough, but THANK YOU. What you saw and wrote are amazing and exactly what I needed to hear.
I hope that this window into my experience is helpful to you. If so, please let me know in the comments.